July 2011
3 posts
Untitled
So, it’s been a few weeks since I posted. I have been working and adjusting to life as an employed person. The difference between everything is crazy. And it’s really nice to have money. I am seeing how much some experiences I have already had have allowed me to do well at my work and some of the areas I need to improve in. I think I am doing very good at the relational aspect of...
Some Personal Updates
Hey, everyone, Just wanted to write and let you know about some things going on in my personal life right now. Firstly, I got a new job! I start work on the 18th, and it really is a great job for me. Secondly, I got a new car. It’s a 1995 Toyota Camry, and it’s pretty rad. That’s all :) Heather Posted via email from I Search For You On The Horizon | Comment »
Do Everything
The message of this song is something I’ve heard a lot recently.Steven Curtis Chapman’s new album comes out August 9! It has some new stuff and some old stuff, and I’m really looking forward to it. “Do Everything” by Steven Curtis Chapman See video here.You’re picking up toys on the living room floor For the fifteenth time today Matching up socks Sweeping up...
June 2011
4 posts
Control
My church has recently split their youth group up into junior high and high school, and since I volunteer in the youth ministry, I now have two youth groups that I am attempting to keep track of. I had no clue that it would be difficult to keep the two straight, but everything feels jumbled up in my brain. I feel like I need to bring pads of paper to each group and take notes because my mind is...
The Redeemer
I’m totally loving a song by Sanctus Real right now called “The Redeemer”. It’s about God taking the broken and making it new.I have been thinking about the past 6 months of my life, and both the wreckage in it and the newness that has begun to come out, too, and it’s both painful/humbling/scary/saddening and joyful/incredible/awe-inspiring/exciting. A part of me...
The Beatitudes ESV
So I’ve been re-reading the beatitudes many times over recently, in many different translations and just soaking them in.3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. 5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. 6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for...
Beatitudes (Message translation)
Matthew 5:3-12 MSG 3 “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. 4 “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. 5 “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are - no more, no less....
May 2011
7 posts
Know By Now
This song cracks me up because it’s so true of me, yet shows how silly my thinking can be.“Know By Now” by Josh Wilson See video here. (Please select a song)Well, so it all went wrong I started singing that sad, sad song So convinced that I was on my own But God, I know That You won’t leave Guess I let it slip my memory Fast as I can count to one-two-three Four-getful me...
The End of the World?
Well…obviously, the world didn’t end. And I didn’t think it would. But despite that, I went through a lot of emotions and thoughts on Friday and Saturday. A part of me was totally ready to go to heaven and leave this world behind. I wrote a little about that on Friday. But another part began to think of all that I could have done and all I could do if I still had a little...
Tomorrow
They say tomorrow is the end of the world…I don’t think it is. Logically, the method Harold Camping used was ridiculous. But there’s a small (maybe larger than I want to admit) part of me that hopes he’s right. Frankly, I am so stinking done with this world and have been for a long time. I am sitting on the edge of my seat awaiting the final uncovering from heaven, where...
Something Great
There’s this deep, inborn desire in me to do something great for the world. And I think we all have it in some form or another. It welled up inside of me today as I was watching the end scenes of a video game I beat. It was a role-playing game about saving the world and I found myself so desiring to do something that would help the world like the characters in the video game did....
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:)
On Thursday, I got my license. For my first trip out as a legal driver, I dropped my brother off at Fair Oaks Presbyterian Church. As I was leaving (driving by myself for the first time), I had to make a left out of the parking lot at the church onto Fair Oaks Blvd. As I made the left, I flashed back to the time I was too scared to drive on Fair Oaks Blvd at all because it was a...
Untitled
I started reading “The Pursuit of God” by A. W. Tozer and ran across this quote in the first chapter: “The modern scientist has lost God amid the wonders of His world; we Christians are in real danger of losing God amid the wonders of His Word.” I’m so guilty of this. Just thought I’d share. Posted via email from I Search For You On The...
April 2011
6 posts
Random Security Guards
I went to a class on depression today (my first of four). I haven’t written much because I’ve been struggling with it recently. Afterwards, I had to wait for my grandfather to come and get me because the class ended earlier than I thought. Being depressed and sitting around outside alone was making me feel pretty alone and sad. I don’t know if my melancholy was outwardly...
Painting
I have been doing paint by numbers a lot recently: This first one is my least favorite. I didn’t like how the colors came out. I was most creative with this one (I didn’t like the suggestions they had for colors). I chose one of the green colors, the color of the sun, and the color of the sky. This one was frustrating me because it was old and some of the colors had dried...
Hate
I hate this piece of myself that is so sinful and broken. It’s such a small piece of me, yet it rules everything sometimes. It has such a deep root system that it takes over and I let it. It feels so natural. But it’s poison. I have been allowing the poison to get to me recently and drag me from God. And now I have to fight and claw my way back, going back through things I thought I...
Why do we Christians do this to ourselves?
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Old Journal
Been looking through old journal entries from recent months…I wrote this on January 2 in my journal…I still think I need it… I have two options… 1. Self-pity. Blame. Anger. Depression. 2. Begging on my knees for God to intervene and help me because I can’t help myself. I want to choose option 2…but I’m falling somewhere in between the two. I am...
Whatever
I have loved this song since I was in middle school. Still do.“Whatever” by Steven Curtis Chapman See video here. I made a list, wrote down from A to Z All the ways I thought that You could best use me Told all my strengths and my abilitiesI formed a plan, it seemed to make good sense I laid it out for You, so sure You’d be convinced I made my case, presented my defense But then...
March 2011
9 posts
My Own Little World
Loving this song right now.“My Own Little World” by Matthew West See video here. In my own little world, it hardly ever rains I’ve never gone hungry, always felt safe I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet In my own little world, population: meI try to stay away during Sunday morning church I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give ‘til it hurts And I turn...
Money
On Saturday, I went to Stockton with a group from my church. (Read about it here.) I have spent the past couple weeks pursuing a job at Big Spoon Yogurt, near my house, and have yet to hear from them. (I called them though, and they haven’t hired anyone yet.) What do those have to do with each other? I have been dreaming and thinking of what I was going to do with the money from my...
Stockton
I went to Stockton today for a one-day mission trip, and it was amazing. We (my church) went and did a one-day VBS type of thing. So teaching, games, music, etc… We went all out! And it was so much fun! I got to lead a small group (which is always something I thoroughly enjoy), and got to just spend the day hanging out with inner city kids exposed to gangs. Most of the kids were latino...
rosecoloured lenses. — [.]
Friday March 25, 2011 at 23:42 Text Permalink to this post [.] it’s amazing how much more healthy I feel mentally than I did even a year ago. I look back at things I wrote back then, and think about all the art and poetry I destroyed, and I can’t even remember what I was thinking. all I can say is, praise God that I sleep better here than anywhere, and that I...
90 | exegeting the syllabus
well folks, this was bound to happen at some point. this point finally came the other day after class. myself and my two cohorts, who shall remains nameless, are working on a group paper. never heard of that before? yea, me either. it’s basically where three of you write one paper. this seems via sixminutesofbanter.com Very funny blog about the things of Bible college. Posted via...
Cuss Words
I have always had this really firm stand against cuss words and using them (Ephesians 4:29). But in the past month and a half, I have heard no less than 4 close Christian friends whom I highly respect say cuss words (people that have basically shocked me). They haven’t been excessive, but it’s making me wrestle with my own thoughts regarding cussing because I just don’t think...
Take Me As I Am
“Take Me As I Am” by FM Static See video here.This time I finally see the reason why I can’t do this alone It took some time and concentration To believe it, this I know I need to build my faith sometimes But I am so comfortable in line I’m up, there’s no more time To try to mess with this designTonight’s complete, everyone’s asleep And I wanna say these...
Here I Am
I love this song. A few years ago, I liked the first verse a whole lot more than the second. Now, I think I like the second verse and the bridge the best.“Here I Am” by Downhere See video here. Sometimes Your calling comes in dream Sometimes it comes in the Spirit’s breeze, yeah You reach for the deepest hope in me And call out for the things of eternityBut I’m a man of...
Ephesians 1:1-6
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints in Ephesis, the faithful in Christ Jesus:Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his...
February 2011
7 posts
KidZone Camp 2011
I just finished up working at my church’s VBS this week. Totally exhausting, but totally fun. I felt so out of practice in ministry, though. I kind of forgot how to lead small groups, how to be energetic and serious, how to deal with the stress, or how to balance homework and regular work. I was all over the place this week.Along with that, I ran across some interesting things: 1. One of my...
Over My Head (Cable Car)
I love this song.“Over My Head (Cable Car)” by The Fray See video here. I never knew I never knew that everything was falling through That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue To turn and run when all I needed was the truth But that’s how it’s gotta be It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy I’d rather run the other way than stay and see The smoke and...
If Nothing Held Me Back
I was just thinking of how I was feeling pretty miserable right now, so I decided to write out what I would do right her,e right now if there was nothing holding me back. No lack of ability, no lack of opportunity, no lack of money, no lack of time… First thing I would do was go on a long-term mission trip to Africa or China…or both. I would love to go work with orphans in China for...
Designing versus Using
People often say that God “uses” situations for His glory or so that they can grow. But one of my teachers made a good point in a video today that God didn’t “use” the land of Israel to bless the Israelites, as if He discovered it there and got all creative with it. He designed it. When He planned the world, He planned and designed the area for the nation of Israel....
Failure
More than anything, I am terrified of failure. I don’t want to let people down or make mistakes. I want to make sure things are perfect, because if they aren’t, then the world will end or I’ll be struck with lightning, not sure which. But I think God wants to teach me how to fail. That sounds weird, but it makes sense. I can’t think of anything within the past 3 months...
NY2LA
If you’re in the Sacramento area and you’re in middle school or high school, there’s a free concert with this band and Manafest on February 15. Go to http://uturn.eventbrite.com/ for more information.So…I used to hate this song, like really hate it. I couldn’t stand it. But recently I saw the music video and kind of fell in love with it. Check it. “NY2LA”...
Numbers
I normally don’t care about my blog numbers, although I do check them regularly to know what kind of influence I am having.I haven’t really been paying much attention recently because I have been busy with life and all. I normally average about 5000 views a month…but I just counted November and December and I got over 10,000 each month (and January’s heading towards that...
January 2011
9 posts
Proverbs 18:10
This is what popped into my head when I read this verse this morning. Posted via email from I Search For You On The Horizon | Comment »
Picnics and Jesus
From Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden‘Imagine that a church picnic is being held at a nearby park. You have many errands to run after the service and don’t get around to packing your picnic lunch. You rush home a few minutes before the picnic begins to throw a lunch together. All you find in your refrigerator is a shriveled piece of baloney, two slices of stale bread and some crusty...
The Rich Young Man
Mark 10:17-31 (ESV) 17 And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not...
Starry Night
Loving this song right now.“Starry Night” by Christ August See video here. From the birds that sing in the tallest trees To the human life of you and me From the desert sands to the place we stand He is God of all, He is everything Waoh-ohI’m giving my life to the only One Who makes the moon reflect the sun Every starry night that was His design I’m giving my life to the...
Winter Retreat
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I just had one of the best weekends of my life. SO much fun! So much good stuff! So amazing and unforgettable.Best things of Winter Retreat (not in order…just what I came up with): 1. Being able to go - I thought for a few days that I might not be able to go…but I was :) 2. Finding out what happens when I only get 2 hours of...
Who is a disciple?
”A disciple is someone who obeys Jesus’ call to follow Him, giving up who they are and in turn allowing Jesus to become the focus of their being more and more as their life progresses.” Thoughts? Posted via email from I Search For You On The Horizon | Comment »
Some Verses I Like Right Now
Romans 5:3-8 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very...
Resolutions
I wasn’t going to make any resolutions, but some things happened and now there are so many things I want to get done, and get done quickly. 1. Get my driver’s license. I have been driving since December 8, 2009 and I still can’t pass my test…that’s annoying to me and I want to get that done as soon as possible…maybe sometime near the end of February or in...
Untitled
I’m staring at a brand new year, and I have such mixed feelings for it. I’m so excited because it’s a new start and a chance to get the insane-ness of 2010 behind me, but it’s also been quite a journey. In a way, I hope that journey continues. I am a completely different person than the one sitting and typing on this blog a year ago. God has been working in my life in...
December 2010
9 posts
Broken
I am learning exactly how true this is for everyone.“Broken” by Steven Curtis Chapman See video here. I’m just a well-dressed wreck I’m just a made-up mess Working hard, trying to keep everybody impressed All the while, I’m Falling apart on the inside I look around to see Is anyone like me First glance tells me I’m all alone in the sea Then I look again, a...
2011
2011 starts in just a few days, and as I look back over 2010, I am shocked. The year did not turn out as expted, by any stretch of the imagination. It was a tough year, by far one of the hardest I have ever had. But that’s not the most shocking thing. I would say the most shocking thing of 2010 has been me. I have changed so much in one year and although it has been tough, it has been so...
Christmas
Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you have a wonderful day. It’s not about the people around you or the presents, or the songs…it’s about what Jesus did for us 2000 years ago by coming to this earth. Posted via email from I Search For You On The Horizon | Comment »
Psalm 139
I’m memorizing this psalm right now.Psalm 139 1 O Lord, you have searched me, and you know me 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.5 You hem me in - behind and before you...
What's God Doing?
So yesterday, I wrote about some things I was thinking about, and as I went to bed, I realized I left something off: What God is doing. I think I left it off because my answer to that is that I am not 100% sure right now. There are a few things I am wrestling with, but nothing easy to define or particularly ground-breaking. I know He’s doing something (because He’s ALWAYS doing...